Sunday, February 9, 2014

This is a Marathon...and There are Hurdles

When something bad is happening, I brace myself and try to get as much info as possible right off the bat. If I feel like someone is upset with me, I need to know how, why, when, what, and how bad is it??? It's alarmingly necessary for me to know what the worst-case scenario is immediately.

Then comes cancer. Ugh. What can I say? The worst-case scenario is really bad and out of my control. I had a PET scan on February 5th and the results weren't great. The PET scan itself? Awesome. I requested the same tech - he was fabulous and did not disappoint. The actual results were less fabulous.
I had the scan on a Wednesday and made an appointment for results on Friday. I had this work thing that I did not want to miss right after the appointment and decided to move it to Monday. A wise friend asked me: Are you sure you want to wait the whole weekend?
I got to the oncologist and was by myself for the first half of the appointment, in which I learned that:
I was crushed. I was really hoping for something better (who wouldn't), but the spread to another bone really bothered me. Based on these results, my doc wanted to abandon hormone treatment and move on to chemo.
Things shifted into overdrive. I started calling City of Hope and UC Irvine docs to get second/third opinions immediately.
Some days, it feels like the more info I have, the worse it is. There just isn't a whole lot of good news. Yet...I still ask for the info. I can't stop. But there are lows - and there are highs, and I have a feeling that things are looking up.

No joke, I was like: Um...of course! 

Man did I misjudge my crazy mind. 

Thursday morning, I ended up calling the doctor to see if they could squeeze me back in on Friday. They could not. So here I am, consoling myself, when the nurse asks if I can come in the afternoon? On Thursday! Seriously, I just had the PET scan the previous morning. Bless my boss' heart she was totally cool with me taking the appointment and going to get the results. Which were not good.

A) The tumors grew
B) I have a new tumor in my humerus

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