Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Long Overdue Update...

You know what's nice? People always asking for updates. And I'm not being sarcastic (I know it's even harder to tell without the nonverbals).

A lot has happened since my last post -obviously- because it was 4 months ago. Sort of defeats the purpose of a blog, right? When friends and family ask for updates, it does make me feel nice. It's nice to feel cared for. So...thank you! Here's a quick update:

I've had five Lupron shots so far. Every time I go to the oncologist, I get Lupron, Xgeva (for the bones), and a little blood draw. For the record, I still consider myself lucky. In April, I had a PET scan and had a full-scale meltdown. The actual PET scan, of course, was nice. Nothing better than being wrapped with warm blankets and instructed to take a nap! I was bummed because it wasn't my Indian friend this time, but the new woman was nice.

About the meltdown...I could not handle getting the results this time. I panicked repeatedly thinking about it. Every - single - time that I'd gone to the doctor so far, I'd gotten bad news and I really didn't feel like I had the emotional capacity to handle more bad news. I felt so much dread going into that appointment and had this weird internal debate about whether I should go, whether I should get the results....maybe the doctor can just tell my husband the results and he can decide if wants to tell me...etc.

I cried waiting for the results...and when the doctor gave us the good news, I cried again. Drama.

It felt so amazing to finally get a positive results. For the record, I consider no progression good results and we should all hop on this magical unicorn ride! So here's what's up:

- The spot on my humerus barely lit up on the scan
- The spot on my spine got smaller
- My lymph nodes stayed the same
- The out of control breast tumor decreased slightly

It was so effing exciting!

In the meantime, I've been experiencing the intense joys of menopause. It's actually a good feeling though, because in my opinion: serious menopause means that the hormones are leaving mah bod. My hot flashes are intense, but not so bad when you work in a building where the climate is set to emulate an igloo. Someone asked me if I was having mood swings - so I looked pointedly at my husband, who said nothing. At the time... I thought we were agreeing that I was as pleasant as always. Upon further reflection...this is probably not correct. At times I am easily irritated and argumentative. I don't think I was this way before...and your opinion doesn't count. Just kidding! But I have been kind of crotchety about little things - if you've been in the line of fire of Kaye's 'tude, I apologize. I'm [probably] not doing it on purpose.

Blame it on the men-o-o-o-o-o-o-opause (like the Jamie Foxx song - please see below, but replace chorus with my clever updated lyrics).