Yesterday was my second Cyberknife session. Two naps down...one to go. I spent most of last night laying down and throwing up water.
It's not the most fun I've had...
...doing much better this morning. Just nausea. I really didn't want the anti-nausea meds the doctor offered so I've been hitting the ginger pretty hard. For the record, fresh ginger has been way better than the chews and stuff. But that makes sense, right?
Today I took off from work and will be kindly chauffeured to the hospital, I thank the universe for kind friends.
I believe that the symptoms build and may get a little worse before they are better..
...the important thing is that today will be my last radiation session!
Well, I started Cyberknife today...three concentrated, one hour sessions of radiation that are supposed to be super precise.
Very high tech...
...I asked the therapist if I could sleep. She said that would be perfect.
That...in case you were wondering...is the right answer.
Besides, I was going to fall asleep as soon as I laid down anyway.
I returned to work after the hour long session. Now I am home, not feeling so hot. Nauseous, lower back pain, and super tired. I can't tell what's a side effect and what is not! Here is to me feeling better tomorrow and finding out that it was a fluke!
In cooler, happier news...the Hello Kitty balloon that a friend brought to the hospital when I had surgery is STILL FLOATING! She began her descent last week...and it super close to the ground...but she is STILL UP!
The top photo is Hello Kitty in November 2014, at City of Hope. Bottom left is Hello Kitty in January 2015, bottom right is Hello Kitty in February 2015, after I finished radiation to my chest. Here she is today...
She may be on the ground, but she is STILL KICKING! I was hoping she would make it through radiation...and she might. Hello Kitty is a survivor...she's not gonna give up...she's not gonna stop...
I haven't had a PET scan since the scan that nudged doctors to recommend surgery! I'm supposed to scan every three months, but...it took about six months for me to get around to my next scan.
So I finally scheduled the PET and I went in on February 23. The Sunday before was hard, it was my first time doing the prep diet (no carbs...at all, no caffeine, no exercise, etc) on a weekend. Terrible idea. It's way easier for me to diet at work. I go in Monday, starving, only to be told that the nuclear medicine was an hour late, so I had to wait an hour to get injected.
You know when you go somewhere and there isn't a public restroom...so you immediately have to use the restroom? I experienced this - I was immediately starving and sad.
I also asked if my favorite PET tech would be doing my scan. They told me HE WASN'T WORKING. I was so bummed.
So I'm sitting there waiting, when all of a sudden, HE walks in. My fav Indian PET tech. This is my face:
I can't even tell you how upset I was. I assumed the lady at the front desk lied to me.
Until...suddenly, he calls my name. If you've ever been wound up ready to get rowdy, only to be pacified immediately, you understand why I was stunned into silence. So, I follow him silently into the room. I'm finally able to choke out, "They told me you weren't working today."
He kindly let me know that he was taking a regular break from PET scans, since they rotate areas to limit radiation exposure. But...since I had been so pushy, he came to start my IV. I can't tell you how happy I was. Seriously, I barely know the guy, but to see a familiar face that I trust, it was amazing!
The week waiting for results was really long. I had my standing appointment for my shots on Friday (last Friday), so I knew I'd probably have to wait until then. Only, I DIDN'T WANNA. I had become so nervous because of the huge span between scans. I was kicking myself for not remembering to mention getting a scan after surgery. In my mind, if something spread, it had a ton of time to grow and flourish. I was so scared, it was a rough week. I called the doctors everyday to ask about results.
Finally, Thursday afternoon, the OC Oncologist called me.
RESULTS: no new cancer.
I was so happy, I cried. If you know me, that's not surprising, I cry all the time. I'm so relieved and so grateful. I'm still not cancer free, the tumor in my spine lives on...but I'll start radiation for that soon.
Hey....K here from a long, laborious two weeks of being at home, being fed while I lay in bed watching Netflix. Aside from the surgery that got me here, this is the life!
I think recovery has been going pretty well! If you're going to have a mastectomy, I strongly encourage you to do it prior to turning 30.
My husband has been really good with bandages, timing medicine, and drain duty. Drains are...gross. They look like the bulbs used to suck mucus from baby noses, except for the pointy part. I had four long tubes that attach the bulbs to me and there is about a foot of tube that is inside of me draining fluid.
I left the hospital with four drains and I was thrilled to get two removed on Tuesday, about a week after surgery. So happy. When we went to the plastic surgeons clinic after that, they told us they'd remove the rest on Friday and I was super bummed.
Other than that, I was feeling good, moving around more - pain was steadily decreasing.
Then, on Thursday morning, I fell down the stairs. Only half a flight, though. I'm super glad I didn't break anything and I didn't pull my drains out (all the way).
It was so depressing because I went from feeling pretty good to basically feeling like crap again. My left armpit got swollen, the drain site was super painful, and the drain fluid increased and turned pretty red. I think I overreacted a little because overall, I'm fine.
At Friday's doctor visit, they removed one more drain, now I just have one left. I'm counting the hours...
I've had a couple of friends ask for more details about my surgery next Monday. I hadn't posted because...
Here is what I know for sure:
I'm having surgery on Monday. It's at City of Hope. It will be first thing in the morning. I won't find out what time exactly until tomorrow (Friday) afternoon.
I'm going to have a bilateral (double) mastectomy.
On my left side, they will take some skin (because I have skin metastases) and all my lymph nodes. No reconstruction, because I will get radiation on that side. I'll be flat on that side.
On my right side, they will be testing the lymph nodes for cancer. If there is cancer, no reconstruction, I'll have radiation on that side too.
For the past six years or so, I've been looking forward to growing up. This is different from growing old. I turned 30 in July but I still don't feel like an adult. I'm rarely calm, collected, or cool. I'm always running late, I'm always oversleeping or undersleeping - I just don't feel like I've got it together.
Someday, I want to be a MF adult who budgets, and decorates her house, and folds all the laundry when it's done. I want to be someone who can entertain, and remember to write Thank You cards and doesn't live paycheck to paycheck.
Man, another outrageous gap between posts. I don't think this is my forte.
So, what's happened between now and July? It's still 2014, right? Well, I've been working full time, life has been great, and cancer has been sucking. Nothing new. Except there is something new. So here's what happened: I had another PET scan in August (OMG, so many months ago) and it did not show 100% improvement. The breast tumor continues to grow, although the tumor in my spine is getting smaller. So...we were at a standstill. The OC oncologist said surgery. I made an appointment with City of Hope (COH). The oncologist at COH decided to take my case to tumor board which I think is super rad. In the end, they also recommended surgery. Both oncologists that I've been working with recommend surgery. So surgery it is!
And here's where we had a teeny tiny problem. My breast surgeon at City of Hope asked me to come in to get a biopsy done. I went in and thought I was getting my left breast re-biopsied. I totally told everyone all about it. Imagine my surprise when I arrived at COH and found that I was getting a biopsy of my right boob. Because something shadowy showed up in the PET. So here are my issues:
1) WHY was this not on the original report - I'm kinda bummed about the radiologist's reading at Mission Hospital.
That's it. That's my only issue with this.
Anyhow, I full scale bawled at COH, in the Women's Center and they kindly brought in my fav doctor (who I asked for mid-blubber) to explain WTF was going on. I'm very, very, very grateful to the tumor board at COH for looking at my slides and pictures and catching that little spot. So I had the biopsy...and...
...just kidding. It's more cancer.
So now it's in both my boobs, ugh, disgusting behavior on both their parts - I'm very disappointed.
But it is all good, because I have a plan: we are doing a bilateral (double) mastectomy on November 10. That's right! One week from today.
This is the first time I'm ever having surgery, so I have no idea what to expect. Luckily, I've got a crapload of good, kind people who want to support me in ways I didn't even think of. A group of people set up a meal train for us, we have friends offering to stay with us to do the yucky post-surgery stuff (drains...ew)...and this past Sunday, an amazing friend got together a bunch of girlfriends to give me a surgery shower!
I had a blast and got to see lots of friends that I love all at once, which is such a fantastic experience. Aren't we cute?
When I think of all the kindness that everyone has shown me (strangers, family, and friends alike), it is so overwhelming. It really is. First, I sing this song in my head:
Then, I wonder what I've done to deserve it. You all are too kewl.
